I like vacations, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s the relaxing that is alluring or rather the times I get to run away from my problems? I really don’t want to go back to the slew of problems in Seattle. Their mere existence follows me in the back of my mind while I am here in Vegas. I dread what’s waiting for me at the end of the road. Essentially, there are certain people who I don’t care to see or interact with: those who seek to lie, cheat, and steal from me – those who test me each and every day. If I assert cutting them out of my life, that makes me seem the ‘dick’ and if I continue acting as if nothing were the matter, I would only continue to degrade my emotional well-being. Once again, I’m caught in a double-bind as the world around me gets more and more complex. Is it selfish to put myself above the rest? Or am I being stupid for allowing people to treat me as such? I guess it’s all a person’s viewpoint on life, but I am going to choose myself. People’s perceptions of me are important and perhaps they would begin to look down on me for choosing myself above others, but I see a greater outcome, and an overall happier lifestyle through this being my choice. Utilitarian: the greater good.

(Is my choice being driven by the American culture of individualism? Something that I don’t necessarily favor but an inherent trait nonetheless.)