FAIL!

I’m sorry. I failed so miserably at this 30-Day Blog Challenge. Haha 3 days in…

Maybe I’ll just resume from time to time.

Day 03: A habit you wish you didn’t have

I do not necessarily have any habits that I should be breaking. Rather, I wish I would be able to form healthier habits in my daily routine. As it stands, I typically come home after a tiring day of work then turn on the TV. After that, my evening goes downhill. I just end up staring at the box for the entire night while ignoring everything around me.

What happened to being productive at night with errands, cooking, working out, writing, chatting, etc. etc. My life feels so sucked away. I wish I would be able to come home and not be such a slave. Though in my line of work, how can I not watch TV and be engrossed in all things addictive? Double-edged sword.

Day 02: A picture of something you cannot live without

My wallet

I suppose it is incredibly obvious, but I never realized how much my life revolved around money until being asked this question of the day. I am going to admit that money was never really the most pressing issue for my family. In fact, I grew up with a fairly comfortable lifestyle. That has thus molded me into an overly complacent and lax-minded individual when it comes to finances. Spend away because someone else will always take care of it. This mentality is something I have come to fear.

As a New Year’s Resolution, I am aiming for more financial independence. No more magic credits cards; no more frivolous spending beyond my budgets. I am trying to reintroduce a mindset of discipline and control that will allow me to better manage my crazy spending habits. To me, I see my wallet as a beast that needs to be tamed. The less I use it, the better. Although at the moment, it is something I cannot live without – I am a slave to it.

I want to one day feel as if it no longer takes ownership over me, rather I am in complete control over it.

Day 01: A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself

Unflattering picture...but most recent

1. I recently discovered I was allergic to the Garnier Fructis Anti-Humidity Bamboo Hairspray
2. I have lived in the same apartment for almost 3 years now.
3. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, and that is either a virtue or a curse.
4. I have kept this blog going since 1999. Different servers, same concept, before people even knew what blogging was!
5. I am growing increasingly sick of Seattle each  day.
6. I have an excessive ear wax problem. TMI?
7. People don’t take me seriously because of my silly personality…and I hate that.
8. After a straight day of playing videogames, I am left feeling lonely and empty inside.
9. I hate being ridiculed. So I feel if I beat people to the punch, I might end up being more satisfied.
10. I thinking a lot of people my peers are undeserving of what they have.
11. I have so many important things to say…but nobody listens.
12. I am currently not as satisfied in my job as I should be.
13. If I turn on the TV when coming home, I will never stop watching it and end up getting nothing accomplished.
14. I have recently been on a spending spree on anything and everything. Am I addicted to retail therapy?
15. I have my Facebook set to British English.

30-Day Blog Challenge

I woke up this morning and figured that I should stop wallowing in this self-loathing. Rather, I should take steps in bettering myself health-wise and as a writer. I am going to be doing this 30-Day Blog Challenge that will help me get my act together and my creative juices flowing again.

Preview below:
Day 01: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02: A picture of something you cannot live without
Day 03: A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 04: List 15 songs that represent your life’s soundtrack
Day 05: A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06: A hobby you have
Day 07: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08: Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09: Something/someone you’re proud of
Day 10: A story about a past friendships
Day 11: A picture of something you dislike
Day 12: A picture of your room & don’t cheat by cleaning it. Share a secret.
Day 13: Write a letter telling someone something you could never tell them
Day 14: A picture of something you ate and 10 things about it
Day 15: .Put your iPod on shuffle & share the first 10 songs that play
Day 16: Something you could live without
Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19: Nicknames you have & how or why you have them
Day 20: If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?
Day 21: Share a picture from your day
Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23: What is something you crave?
Day 24: Share a story about your past that you are ashamed of
Day 25: What I would find in your bag?
Day 26: Places you want to visit before you die
Day 27: Something you could never get tired of doing
Day 28: A picture of you last year and now. How have you changed since then?
Day 29: In the past month, what have you learned?
Day 30: A picture of you today & 20 goals you want to accomplish

Fun? We’ll see how long I actually commit to this.
I will start tomorrow: Monday; Dec 20, 2010.

福原美穂

長い長い道の途中で失くしたり、拾ったり
急に寂しくなって
泣いちゃう日もあるけど

Photo inspiration: Ryan Gosling

What a clever concept. Use of shadows. Thank you, GQ Magazine, for always inspiring me.

Enough of here

Tonight I realize that I am so over this city. All of my emotional connections here have come and gone, and if I were to leave tomorrow, I would miss nothing (take that back, I can actually count the people I’d miss on one hand). Harsh words, but as I reflect, people here could care less about my well-being.

Now I am more resolved than ever to GTFO.

TiGs for New Year’s Eve

I’m not going. But I helped get footage for this minute-long promo video haha.

All choked up over Christmas

Listening to different renditions of ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ is getting me all teary-eyed. I remember last year, I spent it in Seattle working in a dead-end job, somewhat loathing myself for not achieving more, and unable to leave because I was required there for the busy season. Step into the future, and now, I am so thankful in having the opportunity to travel back for even just a few days.

How could I ever have spent a full year away from family? I shock myself and wonder how driven (or selfish) I could really be to have done such a thing. I am not sure if I even wrote an entry back then, but the lyrics to this song are very fitting. “I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams.” Unbelievably stirring.

Though this time it’s different. I can resolve to do so much in the coming year and for the rest of my life for self-improvement, but really, I just want to enjoy my time there without over thinking it. Really cannot wait to just sit there and see familiar faces. I just want to bask in the company of family.