If I ever lose it: here are the lyrics.
Yano Maki 矢野真紀 – 君のことばかり

問題といえば君のことばかり
mondai toieba kimi nokotobakari
心なでて、つねったりする君のことばかり
kokoro nadete , tsunettarisuru kimi nokotobakari
その眼差しは ねえ、無意識なの?
sono manazashi wa nee , muishiki nano ?
もしそうなら君は最高で最低
moshisounara kimi wa saikou de saitei

毎日 夜中の病院みたいよ
mainichi yonaka no byouin mitaiyo
たらいまわしと同じ感覚・・・・フラフラさ
taraimawashito onaji kankaku …. furafura sa

君の笑顔、たまの電話やキスはいまだ
kimi no egao , tamano denwa ya kisu waimada
優しさなのか同情なのか・・・・わからなくてもいいか
yasashi sananoka doujou nanoka …. wakaranakutemoiika

私が悩むのはわがままだから?
watashi ga nayamu nowawagamamadakara ?
同じ目線で諭せる人は誰?
onaji mesen de satose ru hito wa dare ?

気まぐれな君のその胸に決して
kimagure na kimi nosono mune ni kesshite
飛び込まないのは一抹のプライドさ
tobikoma nainowa ichimatsu no puraido sa

疑わしい君の笑顔やキスも結局
utagawa shii kun no egao ya kisu mo kekkyoku
永遠を信じない私には丁度よかったんだよね
eien wo shinji nai watashi niwa choudo yokattandayone

逃げても向き合っても どうせ傷つくんだ
nige temo muki atte mo douse kizutsu kunda
それなら本当は素直でありたいのに・・・・勇気がない
sorenara hontou wa sunao dearitainoni …. yuuki ganai

君の笑顔、たまの電話やキスはいまだ
kimi no egao , tamano denwa ya kisu waimada
優しさなのか同情なのか・・・・わからなくてもいいか
yasashi sananoka doujou nanoka …. wakaranakutemoiika

疑わしい君の笑顔やキスも結局
utagawa shii kimi no egao ya kisu mo kekkyoku
永遠を信じない私には丁度よかったんだよね
eien wo shinji nai watashi niwa choudo yokattandayone

Protected:

Two thoughts sum up Whistler this past MLK weekend:
01. Rejuvenated appreciation for America & Internationalism
02. Redefined frame of mind toward my age and younger kids

Overall, it was a fitting way to wrap up my last Whistler weekend.

Today was annoying as shit for several reasons:

– Boss made me work tomorrow on my day off.
– I was about to make a huge commission, then coworker gave it away for free.
– Felt guilty for haggling the price down of ramen
– Burned my tongue on that ramen
– Burned my arm while reaching for the spoon to eat that ramen
– Stained my pants from eating that ramen

…. why was today so annoying. I shouldn’t have gotten that ramen… fuck me.

Ok, took me a while to admit even to myself, I like being the center of attention.

ANOTHER EPIPHANY

Maybe I’m feeling frustrated at the fact that last year was literally a 12 month party, and now that things have settled down again – and I am able to concentrate on things that really matter – I’m just missing the luxuries of having a very social life.

Any way. Another night of me just chilling at home, not really in the mood to give people a call. Truth be told, it makes me feel really desperate to have to call people up all the time. So I won’t do it. I’d rather wallow at home than give in. Perhaps that’s a stupid way of going at it because it will just perpetuate more misery, but I’ll let me stubbornness win a few rounds.

I’m actually not even really that excited for College Weekend in Whistler. It’s definitely my last year going… but yeah. The weather forecast says the weather will suck. It’s going to be extremely extremely more than usual fratty this year because of the Olympics (yeah I know, I should have already expected that), and the company that I’m going with is …..aight. Some are quite blah. I’m going just for the sake of a vacation. I’ll try and make the best of what happens there, and in actuality, I think I could benefit from going a little buck wild once again for ol’ times sake haha.