Antagonized

Blinded by rage and losing my sanity.
How do I let others affect my emotions so much?
I don’t want to be angry, but people (one person) always pushes me to the brink.

In the grander scheme of things, perhaps I’m being tested by the powers that be.
If I can survive this. Imagine what else I can overcome.

Note for new portfolio

This is just a note to myself that I am on the brink of revamping my entire portfolio. Dear gawd it must be done. The work in there now is atrocious haha.

+ Verizon KCON
+ Verizon Fashion / Comcast Treat Yourself
+ SPU Mapes
+ Spec from class
+ Spec from class

Epiphany before bedtime

Never burn bridges, especially when you’re young.

But when you become rich and powerful, feel free to go back to your blacklist then crush some skulls.

To Record a Moment of Calmness

As May goes on and things slowly get checked off my to-do list, I’m beginning to regain my sanity.

Once again life is getting a bit more enjoyable and bigger pictures are clearer to see. This euphoria and calmness could all just be because of the warm weather we’ve been having lately, but no matter, I’ll try and savor it nonetheless.

I enjoy seeing the change of pace for Seattleites. We see people dressing differently. Their moods shift. As I look out my window, I’m seeing people sit on their apartment steps and chatting out in the breeze. That’s what life should be like. We ought to live and enjoy being outside more often. Ah – how I’ve grown Northwesty.

Random Mental Vomit in April

Haven’t written in a while and figured now would be a good a time as any.

The sun is out on a beautiful Saturday morning, and I’m sitting here in front of my windowsill attempting to get a tan. Haha. I feel inspired to go out and get some productive reading or writing done. Which is a good thing. I haven’t been inspired to do much lately. Work has been a drudge. Coworkers are difficult to work with, and I’m left in between a rock and a hard place. No matter what I do, I just can’t win. Though I’ve accepted it. All I can do is wait it out and then begin my job search anew.

I’ve also been taking classes at the School of Visual Concepts. I’m learning a lot about the ad world both in writing, art, and potential career paths. My knowledge about this industry has grown to surpass many of my peers, even those at work. That’s why I’m also feeling a little stifled. Like I’ve reached my ceiling but cannot excel any further. It’s time to move on.

Work aside, my social life has been alright. I’ve been taking a lot of trips to Vancouver lately. Love that place. Although the more I visit, I realize that I wouldn’t want to live there either. I’m in need of a lot more adventure (ie. New York). It’s a scary leap. Who would want to leave the security, established friendships, and a stable income to chase a dream. Romantic notions that almost always never pan out. However, I realize one can’t hope to win big without throwing in a lot of chips.

On the fun side, I’ve advanced quite a bit in my snowboarding this year. Love it. Seven years later and Paul Boupha finally can keep up with some of the big boys. Haha. Thankful for that.

Spring / Summer is approaching and I’m ready for a new wardrobe. Going to shop soon. It’s all about colors, colors, colors to reflect my personality. White and black are cool for Vegas but no longer for me. Symbolic? Perhaps.

Nothing else to update. I just hope to maintain the energy to write more and write better. I also pray for the patience to wait out a lot of the storm (professionally) in hopes of soon embarking on bigger and better adventures.

Remember:

Learn not to depend on others.
They’ll only let you down.
You can do anything on your own.

Good Morning, March

The trick to productivity is to avoid TV like the plague.

On this moderately sunny Sunday morning, I hope to accomplish:
– buying groceries
– shoulders and arms
– library / tea shop to do hw
– cook a trout pasta

If I meet this timeline, I’ll be home just in time for the Walking Dead at 9, Falling Skies at 11, then Talking Dead at midnight. TV must be a reward, not an indulgence.

Long lost, but not forgotten

Shame on me for neglecting to write for so long. I have a good excuse though. I’ve just been so swamped. Swamped to the point of insanity. Swamped to the point of a mental breakdown. From photo shoots, to filming commercials, to dealing with so much stress. Europe got cancelled on me. Vacations slip through my fingers. Workout schedule has gone to shit. Things have gone into a spiral of disarray, but I’m surviving still.

Some positive new things in my life:
1) Gave up drinking, save for once a week. And in moderation.
2) Really advancing in the advertising craft.
3) May Vegas trip planned
4) Fall Thailand trip in the works
5) New York Trip in the works to blow through my credit card points
6) Spring is around the corner
7) Starting to carve more and more when snowboarding

Just felt the need to record my life in writing. Not much else to mental vomit.