I have a love-hate relationship w/ New Year’s Eve.
I ABHOR having to hunt for plans on the night of.
But I love leaving behind all the grudge of the past.

I feel like I have a skewed notion of friendship as I can’t bring myself to understand how a good relationship works. I find myself either expecting too much from one end and unwilling to let down my guard on the other. I either don’t trust or fear eventually being disappointed by those around me. My perception of friendship might be set on too high of a pedestal, but it seems like others around me have found company who keeps them happy.

Sure, I’ve met a lot of people in my day, but when I contemplate on it, who of those people can I really call upon in times of need? Who will call out to me when the roles reverse? I find myself merely ‘hanging out,’ ‘killing time,’ but not really enjoying or cherishing those who surround me. All in all, I haven’t met anyone who I could truly depend on as a friend by my definition in a very long time. Have I set my standards too high? Or do these people exist somewhere waiting for me to find them? Pity that I am writing another morose entry on the dawn of a new year, but it took this day among others for me to realize and cite these issues plaguing my conscience.

Overdue Update on My Life

I felt like a brisk morning blog, so here I am, not having anything particular to write about but wanting to write nonetheless. I realized that I haven’t written a proper entry in a while – what a shame. But then again, I haven’t had anything really meaningful happen in my life lately either. I wake up (late most of the time), go to work, come home, juggle whether I want to cook/watch TV/play video games, then go to sleep and repeat the cycle. I live an old man’s life.

Furthermore, no one really wants to hang out or do exotic things w/ me like try new foods, new bars, new lounges, new anything! I’m stuck in limbo here in the U.District and I’m totally ready to move on. I suppose it would all be easier if I had a car, but then again, maybe that would just add more nuances to my daily routine. ANY WAY.

Some noteworthy things coming up: Fulbright application status is revealed next month. Knowing my horrible luck…I’m already looking up regular teaching positions and will start applying next month as well. I’m also going to quit Yuen Lui at the end of February w/ a tentative move-back date in early April or the end of March. All I know is that I want to be in Seattle for the ASC Talent Show and for the last season of cherry blossoms. I’ll miss those suckers the most.

In the mean time, I’m trying to find meaningful things to pass the time. I took up more interest in cooking, but I’m still definitely not that good. I’ll need to invite people over to help teach me some dishes – else I keep burning things. On my days off I would also like to go out more and get out of this house. Perhaps I will take my laptop and chill at a cafe somewhere. Doing what? I don’t know, but at least it’s out of the house. When the weather gets better I should take up jogging again to get rid of a growing beer belly. Oh yeah, so I also quit drinking beer. I might have mentioned that in a previous entry. Lastly, I have developed an unhealthy habit of online shopping. Each month I keep spending and spending. Total waste of money.

Last, last thing: I’m going to start using the SUBJECT line for blogs now. Oh yeah, and Christmas sucked I spent it alone and got no presents, and New Years will probably be the same. WHAT THE FACK hahahaha. It sounds so sad to write, but yep, the truth.

No snow this year for Seattle. That’s kinda lame!

This is more like a note to myself for …3 more months down the line.

SIGH

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Denim in the spring $60 Calvin Klein Jeans. Look for dark washes.

Ray-Ban (Brown) Aviators are back.

Colorful cardigans & a black polo.
Mind same color families for spice: teal/blue, red/pink

Could give this a shot in the spring for a more casual day look

Brighter plaids w/ wider prints

And last but not least:
if it’s even possible to find in Seattle —

STOP LETTING YOURSELF GO ` jeez.

OVER-SEASONED
UNDERCOOKED
THEN BURNT

EPIC EPIC FAIL IN THE KITCHEN TONIGHT…sigh…