My laptop is reaching the end of its lifespan…
4 years later and its struggling to stay alive.

Twas a good run w/o a single need to reformat,
But the time has come. In a month, it’ll all be wiped clean.
Clean-clean-clean. How symbolic…I guess.

My Intensely Theory X Outlook on Leadership:

Dealing in high profile events and situations expose you to high profile animosity.
Every decision you make as a leader is scrutinized:
…he should have done this.
…he shouldn’t have done that.
…he is so inconsiderate.
…he is so stupid.
…what was he thinking?
…he is so rude.
…he doesn’t listen to anyone but himself.

Thus all the roles I have to wear when in a position of power. I am aware and am attempting to cope with the idea that these ends are inevitable, but the means in which I take the journey are still controllable. I must maintain civil and dignified responses. I must lend an empathetic ear to everyone’s situation. I must not only take a moment to breath but acknowledge that moments of stress do not last forever. Concurrently, realize that I cannot please the masses. Trust in the notion that I am making these decisions in the best interest of the whole. The big picture is my focus and the driver of my choices, and from a utilitarian standpoint, I am just in my actions.

Though is this to say I should not bend or flex the rules a little? No. I am not strict to policy or rigid to agendas, but I know what it takes to run a good show. If changing rules is what needs to be done, then so be it. Yet if adhering to what I believe is the right decision, I will damn-well not budge from my stance.

Overall, I’m torn into volatile emotions as the date of the talent show approaches. Many people from different sides and perceptions are approaching me as if I were a Centurion overlord. Either they love or hate me for what I’m doing and how I’m assembling the pieces. All in all, it’s my canvas that I am painting with people’s lives. They are beautiful, unique, and necessary in their own respect — but at the end of the day the artist is the one who brushes the final stroke.

• I dislike how Ben Sherman is cheapening its brand image by advertising on any website they can get their hands on. Unfortunate…

• Grades have been slipping, although I’ve been studying. It’s extremely frustrating to see lackluster results after hard work. I’m discouraged from even trying at this point, but I know that adopting that type of mentality would be a mistake.

• I’m in that unappeased by anything mode again. Travel, work, independence. Nothing seems to satisfy me once again. What else can I do to get this adrenaline going?

• My eyes aren’t as clear as I wanted them to be, and that’s been frustrating me as well. I went and got my eyes checked and found that my left eye has 20/15 vision. But the right eye is not as great. I’ll have to go in for enhancements.

• I should stop watching reality TV, as I keep shifting and reevaluating my ideal and actual self-perception after each of these random episodes. Not healthy – psychological and emotionally.

• The end.

It’s supposed to be secret, but I feel the need to announce it in some way.

WONG FU PRODUCTIONS might be coming to UW. If only my planning doesn’t fall through, I’ll be able to literally make this long-time dream come true. Haha. Lame as it sounds…

I remember back in freshman year when I had several discussions about this happening. “Wouldn’t it be cool if someone got them to come up to UW?” I would never have imagined that the person could possibly be me. Awesome. Awesome feeling. Once again, just pray it doesn’t fall through.

250 meets the last year mark.
300 hits my goal.
470 will be a miracle manifested.

I hate it when people can’t just meet their deadlines.
Or is it that I hate how I can’t inspire them to care?