I feel like I’m in those temporary high periods again.
One minute I’m happy and complacent with life as it is,
and the next moment, I’m sitting here staring pessimistically at the world.
Luckily, I’m posting this in one of those better times.
It’s sad how life is a constant struggle to maintain this feeling.
I wish it would just come naturally without my forcing.
But then I’d be asking for too much.
Live in the moment, the rest is beyond me and my understanding.

Protected:

Maybe it’s another fad or another phase I’m going through, but I’ve become infatuated by the Peace Corps. and what I could accomplish through volunteering. It might also be a response to my lack of success in job hunting in such a turbulent economy.

All in all, I’m giving it some serious thought. Not only will dealing with humanities and social welfare give me something to build up my resume, I might actually find some satisfaction in life that doesn’t involve the superficial. I’m going to add a list of several international NGO’s to my list of organizations to research as well. The pay won’t be good, but then again I’m more in need of “fulfillment,” in whatever respects that means. I am not looking to just plump my wallet.

People don’t know how much it hurts to be ridiculed every day about the way you look. The fat and skinny scale are one and the same. Why is it that in this society, the status quo deems it unacceptable to call someone fat? One hesitates because it might hurt the feeling of another. On the other hand, calling someone “skinny-lanky-fragile-bony-weak” is perfectly within the rights of everyone to say.

“It’s okay as long as he’s not fat.” But at the very root of it, you are ridiculing and seeking to humiliate someone who doesn’t fit your standard of ideal. Keep in mind that those who are overweight perhaps don’t choose to be so. I for one, do not choose to be skinny. I do not starve myself, and I do not go out of my way to remain thin. In fact, my eating habits are quite healthy. My body is mine and it has grown the way it has on its natural path. Who’s to judge if that’s ideal or not.

Essentially, I am frustrated at those who speak without consideration for others. I don’t have any next steps in this subject, necessarily. Nor do I have recommendations to the world from this point. Society probably won’t change its bad habits any time soon when there are bigger fish to fry. Rather, I just felt the need to speak my mind and vent my agitation in words ~ once more.

Yes. I want but cannot have you.

MGMT 300 B: Leadership and Organizational Behavior
MKTG 450 B: Consumer Behavior
OPMGMT 301 A: Principles of Operations Management

+ Social Chair >> planning Whistler
+ Job Hunting >> get…anything
+ ASC Director-ing >> ASC Talent Show

…jolly. Next quarter looks about the same as this one. Perhaps even more stressful. What can I do to change the amount of stress I bring on myself…hhhhmm. I say take on less AKPsi work, and skip out on more things. Put homework and studying first. Then ASC. Then AKPsi absolutely last. I might be upsetting people, but when haven’t I put others before myself this past quarter. I want to be a little bit more selfish.

Waking up early in the morning to register for another round of classes. I can’t believe that I’ve been doing this for the past 4 years. Has it become habit? Is this even necessary? At any rate, school hasn’t meant the same since back then, and I’m frightened about how my mentality has changed about studying. I wish I was more dedicated to school than before, but I attribute most of my apathy with being too involved with organizations. It’s so hard to quit, I really just can’t wait til’ my term is officers comes to an end.

Although I say this now, once that moment comes, I’ll be left bored and instantaneously put out of things to do. I don’t think I can ever be satisfied in anything I do for the long-run. That idea is frightening too.

爱是让人感动流泪
也是停止制造伤悲
都答对

爱是为好朋友解围
也是为陌生人破费
就OK

Protected:

Seriously considering dropping finance. This quarter has just been too much workload from school, from AKPsi, from ASC, but mostly from job hunting. But won’t it just be the same next time if I keep pushing things off?

Who knows…but I haven’t been this clueless about a subject in a very long time. Extremely discouraging. I’ll see how much I bomb the midterm tomorrow. I haven’t started studying aside from today, and I have a massive headache. Chances of success look dismal.