Again

I think it’s time…to start P90x again…
the problem is that I don’t have enough hours in a day.

Pet peeves

Every day I am challenged at Brandsoul, my internship. I am constantly learning, which is a good thing. This is seriously, the first job I have ever had that required me to actually use my brain. I am very amazed! And shocked! Life gets no easier after college, let me tell you.

Aside from that, I just looked back over a cover letter that my friend had edited for me. He said it was fine and printed it out. I foolishly believed him. After looking over it again today out of curiosity, I found it filled with typos in the most obvious places. What the FFFF?! This was supposed to go to my #1 choice in internship right now – that he incidentally works for. Life was not designed to be fair. It was designed to be cut throat and vicious. At least that is what American society dictates it should be. That is why we are so successful. Though with this whole escapade, I am left so disappointed and aggravated that this had to happen. No wonder I have not heard back from them even though it is their busy season and my resume kicks serious ass.

Alas, one good thing did come from this discovery. I can now add ‘typos’ to one of my major pet peeves in life.

What defines an artist?

I am not sure if this is a sign of virtue or an indication for a lack of artistry. Today was a glorious, sunny 60 degrees in Seattle, so Linda and I decided to walk from 1st & Pike in Downtown all the way to Market Street in Ballard. We saw a lot of really neat things along the way from gardens, sculptures, parks, industrial landscapes, and even a river. I became inspired and awestruck from all these treasures hiding under my nose from living in this city for the past five years. In actuality, I should have taken pictures of them instead of trying to paint a mental illustration through words (although at some point I might try to recreate this adventure again and get those pictures to you). Why did I not take pictures of this journey? Because I did not feel the need to bring my camera. Why did I not want to bring my camera? Because I knew I probably was not going to use it any way. We ended up walking at a fairly quick pace through all of these sights and looked at things without standing still. I made sure to take in the scenery, but we barely stopped to “smell the roses.”

This drives my curiosity and peaks draws me to question whether not going slow and savoring the things around me was a bad quality. I know people always preach that you should take in your surroundings and appreciate what you have. It is implies you are an artistic person, taking the time to love and pull out things that require observation and inner reflection for hours on end. At least this is what I imagine the great artists of the past doing.

Though by rampaging through, I actually feel a lot more accomplished than I believe I would have otherwise. I am the type of person who likes to conquer. By having visited and discovered these lovely locations, I can now add them as another notch on my belt. Pictures are pretty, but I am more into living the moment itself. Even if it is fleeting, I can say that I am no longer ignorant. Does this indicate a more strategic and competitive mind? Am I not an artist? Does this mean I am more attune to a traveler, a vagabond who desires the art of the move? I would like to think so, at least. That is the romantic notion that will help me sleep at night in sight of my rivals.

Fear

Another earthquake in China…
it’s only a matter of time before Seattle is next.

I have said it for the record, and yes, I am afraid.

I think it’s time to move onto more sophisticated vehicles for blogging. It’s going to be hard letting go of Livejournal, but I think WordPress can go a long way. The only downside is the customization issues — though I’ll figure it all out soon enough.

VAGUE ENTRY ALERT

I am feeling stifled once again. What does the future hold for me here with these continuing obligations that keep me grounded. I want to fly – goddammit. Let me be free to roam as I please and pray my dreams are realized on the journey I embark on. Am I thinking too idealistically again? Am I once more stuck in a pipe dream? I suppose success stems from dreams, and dreams are never easily achieved. Thus I should keep persisting. I just don’t appreciate others around me winning their pot of gold while I am here still struggling for answers to the simplest questions.

http://www.gq.com/style/wear-it-now/201004/gq-guide-style-secrets-cheap-budget

One of the most useful articles I’ve read in a LONG time.

I was shot down because of experience again. I seriously don’t know how I am ever going to get into this field unless I work for free abroad somewhere. I think that is the path I am going to have to take. The parents won’t like it, but it is going to have to happen if I want to stay in this industry.

Live and learn and try again. That’s all I can do, right? Do not dwell on failure.

Martha Matthews was surprised I even got an interview the first time around. That must mean I went pretty far and should be proud of that at least.

So much for trying to blog every day. I wanted to start up again to train my writing for perhaps future writing-related careers. But it is just so easy to rest on complacency and just settle for what you already have instead of fighting the good fight. Ugh. Self-loathing.

Man, my head is killing me because I got too much sleep. Although, I did have a very trippy dream about going to Vancouver in another dimension. Here’s the narration of what I remember:

Me and a small group of friends (those who I haven’t seen in a long while actually) needed to find a plane to catch up with other aircrafts in other to get off this secluded island. We ended up finding this large drill-like machine and decided to use that one instead. I think in the back of our heads, we fully knew that it was going to be either some type of time machine or something along those lines. As we began to fly it, we flew alongside a regular plane for scale and then began piercing the sky and leaping into another dimension. Being transported through a tunnel, we ended up on the other side above a large body of water and we made a water landing near the coast. After some observation, we knew we had arrived in Vancouver on a sunny day…in another dimension.

Everything physical and geographical was the same (more-less). My cohorts in dimensional transport off the top of my head were: John Wang and Kate Wong from high school. There were a bunch of old faces that I have not seen in a long while, I wonder why my subconscious made them my party members. We rested at this cafe and discussed our situation, and I, with my inquisitive nature, decided to go exploring the city and speaking with the people. For some reason, I found that a lot of other friends who I have not seen since high school or middle school were lining the street as street vendors or passers by. For some reason, this did not surprise me, but I knew that they did not recognize me. Perhaps I had not met them in this dimension, but I knew who each of them were.

I thought to myself, this world could be so slightly deviant that all things could be the same but the interactions between people that I had come to know in my previous life would be altered. I spoke to this random guy on the street and asked him for directions for a location that I knew, but he described something entirely different from what I knew. That was a tiny scene that got me thinking about the concepts of slight deviation.

One of the more memorable scenes was me attempting to call my mother. She picked up and had no idea who I was and eventually hung up on me. It was kind of sad, but very intriguing for me to observe such a situation and how stark this new dimension was.

Walking along the street even more, I got into a tube and started flowing down a river going through the middle of the city. Vancouver began looking more like a Thai river town at this point. I looked up at a balcony and saw John Wang on the cafe balcony sitting at the same spot I left him hours ago. I also saw Kate also sitting somewhere along the riverbank. Though as my lazy river journey progressed, I turned around to see Tony Fong and he ended up recognizing me first. He called out my name, and I began expressing how surprised I was to have him recognize me. As we both continued along, I found more people who recognized me and greeted me – that was interesting and I wanted to learn more about the history of this world.

I ended up getting on Tony’s main form of transportation, a large red ball in which you bounce on to travel. We started bouncing through the mall, up some stairs, through some doors, etc. I found out that a lot of the Vancouver residents were going to Whistler for the weekend because of some sporting event that was going to be badly covered on the media. I said to Tony that if everyone were going to Whistler then no one would be able to hear the broadcasters any way. But we just left it at that. I told him I wanted to see some more touristy sights and we bounced along this futuristic street tinted with a bright orange sky. It felt very Las Vegas like in the 80’s — aand at this point I woke up!

I woke up with a killer headache. And I felt the immediate need to blog about it before I forgot. So, here it is. There needs to be a lot of revision, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out in writing at rapid pace. As I reflect on it, what an interesting world that was. I wish I will be able to revisit in other dreams, but I will not be holding my breath. So fascinating however. I love going back to familiar worlds which I have dreamed about before. They are like mini-vacations where anything I want can happen. Twas a good place and memory.