On occasion, people can just piss you off so much, from their actions, their words, and their overall mentality on life.

Yet I found it better to think in the long-run. Although they may frustrate you in the moment, it’s obvious that others stand witness to their behavior as well. Thus they can form their own opinions on that person. Although I can explode and retaliate in anger and frustration, I realize I would be more satisfied through merely raising my chin and acknowledging that I’m above it all.

Some people deserve to be looked down upon. Disregarding ethnicity, gender, or affluency, look down on those who lack the character to be a civilized human being. I would impart this suggestion unto you.

I’ve become too complacent on my success – my strengths. I feel as if I could ride along life easily and everything will go my way. This is a dangerous mindset, and inevitably it was the grave that I dug for myself this evening.

I went through mock interviews with Accenture today, the company I aspire to work for. Suffice it to say, I got my ass handed to me on a platter. Although I had practiced, my efforts weren’t enough. Although I had researched, none of it came out the way I wanted. All my peers delivered their interviewed in flawless victory, which burns my wound even more. Not to say that I am not happy for their success, I am just disappointed in that I wasn’t able to keep up with them. All this time, I’ve been resting on my laurels and basking in all the success that I’ve received while others have worked hard to get to where they are as well. I lost sight of hard work and have forgotten that it is required for success.

Yet on the bright side, I see this as a fortunate occurrence. If I were not as humbled as I am now, I would still be living in the dark and be set up for an even bigger crash later down the road. I’m glad that I forced myself to go through these nerve-racking mock interviews and live through the frustration that I am feeling now. Sometimes, I just need a kick in the ass to get my act together, and I’m going to take this night as just that. My dedication to school, work, and career are back – and I will no longer linger and hope for the best through luck alone.

Carve my own destiny through hard work and perseverance! Because (I’ll call upon my favorite quote once more): ‘ It’s not the height of your logic, rather the depth of your conviction. ‘

我也知我苟且。可一直蔓延。你可以说我怎么办吗？

Long overdue for a blogging, I suppose. Speaking of which, I have to start talking in absolutes. No more ‘I thinks’ or ‘I suppose’ ‘s…at least I’ll try.

At any rate, job hunting begins now. Rather, it began last week while revising my resume vigorously. I can’t help but compare this with 4 years ago while we were all looking for colleges to apply to. In a way, job hunting is the same type of stress while at the same time it feels like everything has come full circle.

I’ll be applying for whatever marketing jobs are out there. Preferably, it’ll be at Accenture or some other type of consulting firm. One day my aspirations are in international relations, but it seems this is everyone else’s dreams too. Americans seem to be finding more means of escaping America. Sigh.

Either way. Stress, stress, stress. I can’t believe I’m graduating so soon because it seems like only yesterday I was blogging about how my dorm life sucked or how much I missed high school. Haha…it’s all so silly now that I reminisce, but all so pivotal to who knows what kinda life I lead now hah. Any way, more job researching at Odegaard awaits.

Random tidbit:

I THINK

Robert Santos, a Filipino weather forecaster from Las Vegas has moved over to Seattle’s KOMO 4 news. I turned on the tv this evening, and got a little confused but happily surprised at the same time. Just felt the need to blog about it. Hah.

I’ve come and gone, and on my return I notice that I’m just not the same. Have I grown more mature while being abroad. Have I become more thick-skinned from my experiences, drama, and tribulations abroad? Or am I just merely jet-lagged and still yet to adjust to the American lifestyle. So far it seems like I no longer want nor find value in what I once did. Call it maturity or whatever you will, but I find solace in merely going to school then coming back home and relaxing – no more, no less. My days are filled with errands that drive my existence, but going out and finding joy among the social life is no longer something that interests me. It’s funny how not long ago I was still in the party-party lifestyle across the ocean, but once I got back it all seemed to change. It’s pretty inexplicable, really. Perhaps it’s a growth I welcome because I am neither happy nor sad about my sudden shift in attitude, but I just felt the need to observe and record it. To put it more succinctly, I’m growing up too fast for my age, and actually, it’s not too far from the truth. A few more months, and I’m on my way to true adulthood where I’m working the 9 to 5 and leading the stigmatized ‘dull life.’ I suppose it’s something I fear a little bit, but behaving the way I am right now seems to be preparing me for the worst. Either way, I feel that all of this correlates back to my summer travels, and looking back, it all seemed to signify the final ‘hoorah.’ I’ve lived it up long enough and become spoiled. The newest chapter of my life is beginning to open, and I can only wait and see what trials this upcoming school year will have.

Apologies for not posting sooner. Turns out China restricts access to Livejournal, and I’m only able to access it after going through a proxy server.

There’s so much to say with so little time. If you’re looking for pictures, look to my Facebook albums. Right now it’s only clubbing because that’s what we’ve primarily been doing for the past 7 days, but at the same time let me tell you that school is rigerous: Four hours of language every day and 2 hours of business classes every TWF. I’m supposed to learn a year’s worth of Chinese language in two months. Insane? I’d wager.

Shanghai itself is massive, very overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Barely anyone speaks English, and I’ve been forced to put my Chinese language learning on hyper drive. It’s working but pretty frustrating because everyone just assumes that I am Chinese and am supposed to understand everything that they’re trying to tell me. I’ve been cut no slack.

These seven days have been one unfortunate event after another for me. First my Calvin Klein bag was stolen with my camera. Don’t assume I was overly careless and waving my bag in everyone’s face to take; rather, the theives were slick and managed to take it without me noticing from right under my nose. The trick to safety is paranoia, and that is going to dictate my behavior in Shanghai for the coming months. Aside from this event, I got food poisoning, an ulcer on my gums, been bitten by ten thousand mosquitoes (which resulted in me having the skin of a leper), and wasted way too much money on clubbing and on non-essentials. I have just assumed that I am prone to physical misfortune throughout this trip, so I might as well suck it up and deal with it.

However, one bright side remains to be said, yet I fear in doing so will negate that goodness. I’ve become very superstitious in the past few years. It’s probably because of my desire to be in control of my own actions. Either way, I just wanted to point out that YES some goodness has come out from being here and is helping me get through each and every day. I pray not to lose it through all these jinxes.

In the end, don’t look for too many postings from me through Livejournal as it was challenging enough just getting on this thing to post this entry. I’ll get back in the swing of things once I’ve hit Thailand on Sept. 2.

GO CHECK OUT MY PICTURES OF FACEBOOK!

I thought this quarter was extremely sucky.
How did I manage to slack and not commit as much to my work?
But then I checked my grades out this morning, and I’m seriosuly in shock!

I S 300: INTRO TO INFO SYS – 3.4
MKTG 490: BRAND MGMT – 3.7
SIS 201: MAKING OF 21ST CENT – 3.6
SPHSC 100: VOICE&ARTIC IMPROV – 3.8

I’m sooo happy haha. In IS, I ended up getting the lowest grade in class for one of the labs. And yeah, I’m a bit disappointed that my grade isn’t higher, but I am still happy with this score because the class was pretty fun to just sit and listen in.

For the amount of work I put into brand mgmt., this grade is way too over the top. Haha. I learned a lot though. We just didn’t put as much effort into the projects and reports as we should have.

I was seriously prepared to receive below a 3.0 for this class. My TA has consistently graded me down on the dumbest things, and this course is designed to be the weed out class for international studies majors. However, it turns out that I conquered it! My final paper was waay below average too, but I suppose I killed the final exam. Nice. I’m excited.

I don’t care about this class, but I DID learn a lot from it. Now I can go up to someone and better imitate their accents and notice how their breathing patterns are inefficient. Haha. Is this a useful skill to have? Maybe in learning new languages – which I greatly enjoy. I would have been upset if I got anything below a 3.8.

Overall, this quarter…this quarter…that’s all I can say. I’m glad it’s over and I survived with good results. I ended up making the dean’s list again after all. School starts again next week but this time on a different continent and in a different language. Let’s see how I can get through intensive Chinese language and business courses. (I leave Friday. Au revoir)

This sucks, I have good reception for my wireless in the living room but not in my bedroom. And I drained the bandwidth from my other network so my ‘Korean drama streaming video constantly’ watching arse got banned.

By the way, I leave for China this Friday. I feel like I should be more excited.

Dammit, I picked the worst week to start my typhoid pill…