It’s just a bit lonely back at home.
I look in the corner and expect to see that little bed,
but at a second glance, there’s nothing there but empty space.
A little bit more silence, a little bit less life.
A decade of habit is hard to erase, rather – adjust.
I miss my doggy.

Siiiigh

There was some extreme studying going on today. I’m glad I accomplished so much though. I love the feeling of accomplishment.

Unfortunately, on a sadder note, my apartment flooded today. Turns out the idiots upstairs left water on and then it started seeping. Now my bathroom is a bog and pieces of Jared’s room is soggy. The worst part is that now I’m forced to use Jared’s bathroom, but I won’t be able to pee nor shower in the morning because he sleeps at strange hours and doesn’t wake until the sun goes down. Isn’t that a little sick?

NEXT. I gave Pele away to Linda, Connie, and their apartment mates today. It was somewhat, moderately sad to see him go but at the same time I don’t regret it at all. They seemed to really think he was cute, and their apartment looked really clean. Hopefully that implies that they will be able to keep Pele alive for another year or so. I will visit on occasion, so there wasn’t much of a sadness when I dropped him off. Silly hamsters – never again. But I’m really glad that I found a new and loving home for him though.

Just an entry for the day toward consistency sake

Who would have thought, huh?

HAHAHA this is so horrible I just couldn’t help myself.
I have to pass it on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geim0TudQyc

Every once and a while I become reminded:

GOSH I miss Europe.

…Rather. The adventures associated with a life of travel.
Does that spring from the prestige of the action
or the thrill of knowing that I can actually survive?
Both are true. So I guess the next step in the process
is establishing a realistic career out of this.

Cogs are turning.

Urgh. I don’t know what to do.

My roommate bought a hamster last year named Pele.
I guess he was cool for the first months or so, but now I seem to be the only one to take care of it. This isn’t fair. Plus, I’m the busiest person in this household so I always forget and find Pele’s cage in disarray without food or water.

I really, really want to give him away but there are no takers. There are no outlets for me to sell him, and I wouldn’t feel right just leaving his cage next to the dumpster or something. I don’t know what to do at all.

If anything I’m the most mad at my roommate for committing to such an impulsive buy. When someone is so inconsiderate to another living being, that’s when I start getting angry. Not to mention that he just brushes the issue aside, not caring whether Pele lives or dies.

Urgh again. The frustration!

Today I had to dress business formal for AKPsi induction.
Upon walking out, I was greeted to a field of snow.
Seattle has never been so white, and I have never been so penguined up.
I felt like a grown ass man because of it.

Any way, the point of this entry was that the campus looked beautiful
as I waltzed through and plowed my way past pounds of the fluffy stuff.

I have felt so ugly recently.
The opportune moment to capture,
any truth that tends to hide.

I’m extremely rusty, but I miss the studio.
Put me there – I seek to pose in the lens
and see what comes out the other end.

It’s unfortunate how I feel like I have no one to relate to,
at least in my age group, about my decision to stop drinking.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to quit until New Years Day at the very least. The motivation for this choice was that I really needed to focus on school. Alcohol seemed to drain the intelligence out of me, so it was about time that I took a long, liver-recuperating break. My European adventures plus this intense quarter of the party life wasn’t helping either. I had trained my body to become accustomed to booze at such an extent that even now, my body kinda craves it.

I used to think about those people in Alcoholics Anonymous and wonder, “How could that be so addicting? I mean, it’s not like alcohol was crack or something.” But now that I have quit literally cold turkey, I feel like I can somewhat relate to their symptoms of withdrawal. I really can’t describe it, but I feel uneasy and restless, unable to concentrate. Psychologically I know that I am dedicated to keeping my goal, but physically I crave the taste of liquor. I crave the state of mind I get after a few beers. It’s all a sick mentality when I take a step back and analyze it. Overall, the situation I was in can be summed up in one word: Unhealthy. The culmination of all those negatives really pushed me to stop.

But it’s hard to go at it alone. Of course all my peers have just turned 21 or are beginning to venture into the party scene. Even those once super-abstained and reserved are sippin’ the cissor at every social occasion they can get to. It’s so crazy how the roles have reversed. I seem to be the single person hoping to step back from this lifestyle and swim upstream toward a cleaner past.

This brings me to remember all those other people from my past who said at one point they wanted to drink less, but now that I recall, it was merely superficial. Perhaps it was the cool thing to quit, or at least say they wanted to. But then again, no one ever did. No one ever made a commitment. That is where I hope to deviate from their choices and hold strong in the face of temptation in sight of a greater goal.

Just that living in an environment of such extreme hedonism, makes me want to falter. Yet overall, I am taking this period as a work out for my psyche. If I train my willpower to endure this now, then that is just opening up the door for becoming stronger in resisting other things that are bad for me – hence, phasing out all the negativity in my life.

( I just read this entry to myself, and it sounds sooooo gaysian.
However, it was just something bothering me. It just needed to be said, although it does sound like a petty rant. Hah.

And I also found it amusing how I felt the need to justify my entry. Sigh on my self-image. )

Every year I grow prouder of my school.

I was studying for a while in Suzzallo Library when I came across this pamphlet talking about the history of the library. Looking through it reminded me of photos I saw of old Berlin, Breitscheidplatz-Charlottenburg area in particular near the Kaiser Wilhelm Gedächtniskirche (yeah I know, names aren’t short). It’s fun to imagine how UW might have looked in the past, before it’s various reconstructions. It appeared as though we would have been walking through European-esque streets of gothic buildings. Considering how big the campus is now, it’d be like we would be living in a small town surrounded by a lake, forest, and Mt. Rainier in the background. It’s pretty exciting to think about actually. I’ve included a picture below:

See more pictures, read more entry