And I’m Back

I’m back in San Francisco and back from my hiatus. This is mostly due to the fact that my schedule has started regaining some sense of normalcy. Second quarter of classes start tomorrow and the cycle begins anew. This term promises harder classes, more work, and in my opinion, more drama.

As all the classmates have begun to get more comfortable with each other, heads are going to start butting. The honeymoon phase is over and shii is about to get real. I’ve been in this situation far too many times for it to once again get the best of me. This is the time to really mind my step. Tread lightly, don’t burn bridges, smile and nod.

Aside from that, I’ve not much else to update. I spent the last few days wasting money in this expensive city and trying not to starve because of it. Lots of visitors are coming this quarter which also requires me to balance properly and not let my sights be detracted too far from academics. Diligence will bring me glory, that I truly believe.

Ah well. Time for sleep, and when I wake, I’ll be once again greeted by another quarter of surprises. Wish myself luck.

I shall return to blogging…

I apologize for the lapse in posting! Blah. I hate falling behind.

Although the habit won’t be broken tonight…
It’s raining outside, and I wanna fall asleep to the sound before it’s too late.

Too emo?

30-Day Blog Challenge: 06

Day 06: Something that excites you and fills you with joy.
I’m not sure if I was always like this, but I find myself infused with uncontrollable joy when I’m eating. This is especially true if I had been craving something for the longest time. Once I take a bite and savor the flavor of that particular item, I can’t help but roll my eyes and become ever so elated. It’s borderline orgasmic. I wonder if this is a common phenomenon that happens to other people as well? Of course, I always hear of people saying they love food, but I’m not quite sure they really mean it…at least as much as I do.

Some foods worth mentioning:
– Anita’s Crepes Onion Soup (unfortunately restaurant is out of business…)
– Polish Home Association’s Pierogies
– Spätzle in General
– My Godmother’s Homemade Egg Rolls
– Del Taco (Don’t judge me.)

That’s not to say that if I’m craving a pizza and finally have some that I won’t also fall into the same state of euphoria. The items above are just surefire ways of getting me excited.

Crap. Shouldn’t have blogged about food so close to bedtime. I’m starving.

Tired Blogging

Lord of the flies, I have been knee-deep in creative.

I’ve been working on my portfolio and essays for the past few days as well as juggling a social life. Everything seems in order though, so that’s a relief. The site is almost ready for launch. Went by a lot quicker than I thought. Just need to fill it with content tomorrow as well as purchase a domain.

On the other hand, I’ll have to get my mind in the right place to write these scholarship essays. Those are arguably more important at the moment, but I just can’t seem to find the concentration to roll them out. Ah well. All in all, I’m just thankful for such a productive day.

Back in Vegas

School let out exactly one week ago, and I’ve had little time to sit and blog. Half the time was spent being social and the other working. I got a brief freelance gig with a local event series. The work was nearly the death of me and featured a really tight turnaround, yet I managed to get it all done with time to spare. The payoff was a little bit of spending cash, but more importantly, brownie points with some movers-and-shakers in the SF tech scene.

Aside from that, I’m taking this long spring break as a chance to refocus myself on the industry at large. I’m hoping to get back into reading and researching award shows. I don’t feel I’m ready to be entering any at the moment, but I’m researching the briefs and contest regulations nonetheless. When February rolls around next year, I will have spent a full year preparing for award season. I’ll hit the ground running as a result. My main goal so far: WIN A RADIO AWARD.

I also want to complete my online portfolio within two weeks from now. It’s about damn time something got put up that reflects my new role as a creative. Other tangent goals include working out at least some amount during this break, eating at least four protein-infested meals a day, and going hiking/snowboarding at least once.

As for Vegas itself. Home is home. I haven’t been away that long, but oh, have I missed the heat and laziness this town culls within me.

30-Day Blog Challenge: 05

Day 05: Something in life that gives you balance.
If anything my life suffers from a lack of balance, an imbalance that is costing me my full potential. I guess I had never really thought about it before being prompted this question. My life has always been a juggling act between work, education, being social, and keeping up with my physical appearance. At one moment, I can feel an extreme high from one of those characteristics but then become elated or deflated by another. Never is there calm or equilibrium. Being steadily satisfied is unheard of.

Through this introspection, I am forced to ask myself if this is normal. Do others posses something that anchors them and gives them purpose? Is what I’m missing: Love?

30-Day Blog Challenge: 04

Day 04: Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy.
I’m proud yet at the same time ashamed at how much yet little I exercise. Way to accomplish the most contradictory sentence in this blog’s history. Any way. During the past few years, I have been dedicating myself more to being in shape. By no means am I a really fit athlete with a bangin’ body, but I am leaps and bounds beyond the condition I ever was growing up. I’m happy for that, and I never want to go back to being the extremely skinny and lanky kid everyone always made fun of.

I can still remember to this day how everyone would comment, “Paul. You’re so skinny.” They would grab my arms and wrist, shaking them as they made their hurtful remarks. It would enrage and confuse me. I questioned how people felt it appropriate to do such things when they were so vehemently against picking on overweight people. Who in their right mind would grab someone’s belly fat and say “My, you’ve gotten fat!” Just one of the double-standards in our society…

Yet, I’m thankful for those times being over. Although still skinny, I don’t get those types of comments anymore. I’ve bulked up enough to avoid it. I hate working out, but I enjoy the fruits of my hard labor. All in all, I’m not yet at the point I want to be. I could stand to gain another 10-15 pounds and am working to do so in this very year. It’s possible if I continue to routinely balance my health/nutrition, education, and social life properly. This will take a lot of discipline in which I’ve worked so hard thus far to cultivate.

30-Day Blog Challenge: 03

Day 03: Something with which you struggle.
There are many things off the top of mind in which I struggle with. My eczema, my workout schedule, my temper, my financial budget, and the list goes on. As I sit endlessly compiling the list, I can’t help but think to myself, “Damn. You’ve got a lot of issues, dude.” But when I really think about it, what man goes through life without complaints? In fact, if you were to live a complacent life, how could you improve? Thinking you’re perfect is a character flaw in and of itself.

Several weeks ago, I wrote a mantra and posted it on my wall:
“Embrace that your life in imperfect. Only then can you start to live it.”

I was inspired to write that after contemplating on why I had been so stressed in the past, thus driving me to unhealthy anger. Essentially, I was being too hard on myself and thus realized that in moments of such frustration, I should just “fuck it all.” I can’t control everything, regardless of how much I demand perfection. Uncontrollables are always going to go down, so just accept that fact and don’t let them cloud your reactions. Another plus is that you’ll learn from those mistakes (theoretically) – never to experience them again.

30-Day Blog Challenge: 02

Song on Repeat ATM: Justin Timberlake – Suit & Tie
DAYUM he’s back with a murderous vengeance. I wish I were as cool as this f’ing guy haha.

===
Day 02: Something you regret not having done last year.
It’s hard to imagine how my life at this time last year was so different from today. On the other hand, it would be a shame if my life were to remain so stable and constant that year upon year would appear unchanging. Out of all the many downfalls and mistakes made in 2012, I most regret allowing my hatred for another person to control my emotions and drive my actions. I don’t want others to be in control of me in any shape or form. True, Evil guides your hand to perform many things you’d rather not; however, it was up to me to be stronger and more resilient.

I wasn’t cunning enough. Patient enough. Though I hope I’ve learned my lesson and am consciously working to apply these practices into my everyday.

Late Night, On My Mind

Funny how it takes only one person, one moment and circumstance, to carry you from the over the moon to the lowest of lows. So far, this weekend has been a yo-yo of emotions. Praying for a happier tomorrow.